i never learnt to sleep on time

04/11/2026

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why is it that im always sleepless the night before i have something important to do. i mean today its bc i didnt wake up till 3p & then had way too much caffeine and no weed or food. i should have just skipped the day .. i feel that every day but today it would have been the healthier choice.

i cooked tho & put a lot of love into the food. to share w new friends tmrw. for that im grateful. besides ! too many uppers is alw the best excuse to go to a fast techno party. gotta burn it off somehow & its not like im gonna sleep tn anyways. should i join society downtown for the u kno who experience or would my state be better suited for the berghain headliner on the berghain soundsystem 🤔 ill probably go to that one bc its literally in my neighborhood (so too was body for a brief period rip). tbh if we had 24hr transit id go downtown a lot more. but also maybe not bc i can never catch the vibe!

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i miss renegades for these feral nights. im dirty. i want to go somewhere dirty. i want to convene amongst dirty people. fuck on the dusty concrete & piss in the street. im most comfortable in the street during every aspect of my day not just at night. the warehouses have been a fine compromise. stability aint suchhh a bad thing but nothing beats trespassing.

clubs r cute for when im tryna catch a crush but whos got time for that these days?? actually i have too many crushes .. id literally drown if i sought any more out. they still find me anyways & ofc i indulge (less lately .. more responsibly). but dark floors facilitate exhange then departure & theres something so sweet about only existing for a brief moment & maybe never again.

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tonight id rather disappear completely. i need to get fucked (up) by the speaker. none of my lovers hit me tho i need to be put into place. sonics will manage, at least to get me thru my commitments this weekend. pound me into tenderness. all i am is everything i have to give.

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