a brief return

11/10/2025

Raves have a particular place in the fantasy life of coworkers—and here I should acknowledge that I’m a coworker myself. I have a day job and the times I can dance through from doors to closing are rare. Besides freeing me from gender dysphoria, raves also free me from alienated labor—or appear to. Techno pounds the living shit out of my brain, freeing it from nagging worries about emails unsent. The psychic damage of certain kinds of cognitive and affective labor can be temporarily healed on the dance floor.

"Raving" by McKenzie Wark, page 61

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something nice about being off social media is that ppl form less of an idea about me. i think. idk fs but thats the best way im able to describe the shift ive felt since going offline. which isnt so deep really - i think ppl just think abt me less when they dont see my pfp in their story scroll every single day. i miss the convenience of connection but find intention outside of it. fate feels clearer, too.

except events .. i dont find out abt shit now !! did yall know that redacted opened for redacted at kingdom ?? i didnt until 2 weeks after .. also missed the ambient shed moment bc i hadnt been checking my email that weekend. after a decade of parties i dont stress abt missing stuff but i did really wanna go to those lol.

im drawn to the underground at all bc of the relationships that form. some of my favorite connections at the raves are ppl i only encounter in that space. we're not mutuals on anything, dont exchange numbers .. literally just i see them at the rave & they see me. a connection forged thru movement, within the music. its freeing to know something can exist as a moment and maybe never again.

lots of encounters that would otherwise be one-offs persist bc of instagram. they become ppl i see daily (at least that i become aware of daily). but thats not a relationship, right?? im sure it is to some degree, or can be. but especially in the underground, what really builds connection is dedication. seeing the people who return every weekend. the ones who stay from dusk til dawn.

also i dont mean solely dance/rave/techno spaces when i say this. i kno who my neighbors are by whos up on the block type shit.

i will return to instagram. once ive recorded some music. i really dont think its completely useless. if anything at least i can get back up to date w whats going on. and i do really miss a few of the ppl that i only keep up with thru socials. tho im excited to purge my follow list fs, and reframe my intentions around maintaining casual connections just bc its made convenient by using the platform.

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actually i did run into redacted at body this weekend, which was unexpected but made my entire night! they gifted me a cd of their latest mix which is really cool. they have such a keen understanding of rhythm & frequency .. flow & connection .. i try to see them play any chance i get. but more than anything theyre one of my favs to dance with.

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its funny how time frames our individual perspectives. i was only away from the rave for two months. some ppl greeted me this weekend as if id been gone for much longer, others like it was just the next time they were seeing me. definitely feels like we shifted timelines. like, the dance floor was backwards! there were so many pockets of conflicting energies & vibes pulling in all different directions.

started the night w bestie which was rejuvinating & healing & a blast as it always is w them. they fill me w a deep love for life. once we parted ways i was tossed around in the riptide of competing energies for a while till around 4am when the tide finally carried me to the witches. i think they were feeling the conflicting energies as well so it was nice to carve a bit of our own space & drift together into morning.

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the music itself even seemed at odds w the crowd for much of the night. this fall semester has brought out a lot more of a casual crowd, ive noticed. which is what it is. but part of it is that a lot of them dont seem to be into the music. esp the working class techno vibes from this weekend .. i thot the music was spectacular from front to back. homie esp delivered a much needed vibe reset of an opening. its lovely to have seen them progress so much w it this year. this set in particular was remarkable for how confident theyve become.

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